We’re going to have our first child and I don’t know what I’m doing. So, I feel like the best thing to do is learning to tackle pregnancy step-by-step; the same way I approach most things. Do some research and make a list.
My wife and I were trying for over a year and it finally happened. We couldn’t be happier (even if she could do with a break from being sick).
I want to be a good dad and I want to support Mrs Wrincs through this. I know I’ll make mistakes but I don’t want my missteps to be because I just had an “it’ll be fine” attitude. I want them to be because I’m an idiot. So, I want to do my best and a list is what I know.
What I Already Know (or Think I Know)
I would like to look back on this one day and laugh at past me. So, before I really dig in, I thought I should take some time to establish what I already think (without looking anything up). So here’s an unsorted list of all my first expecting dad thoughts:
- Mrs Wrincs can’t have alcohol, caffeine or soft cheese.
- Folic acid is important
- She should stay away from smokers. I don’t think she’s supposed to get in a hot tub, ride a bike or play rugby.
- I might need to think about how to get baby into school before they’re even born.
- I think we need a midwife but I don’t know anything about that.
- Mrs Wrincs tends to get sick quite regularly, so she’ll probably struggle with morning sickness (this has already proven to be true). She might get massive ankles.
- I should look for pregnancy books and parenting books.
- I don’t like the idea of cutting baby’s nails. I need to look into that.
- We need a pushchair and a car seat with ISOfix.
- Baby names.
- We should research baby monitors.
- I think we need a birthing plan but I don’t really know what that is.
I started throwing things into a list and then went looking for help online. I’ve tried not to fall down any rabbit holes. All I want is a list of things so I can try to put them in a logical order. Although I wasn’t trying to look at specific details, I’ve discovered that pushchairs are far more expensive than I realised.
Initial Research
Although I’ve already started putting a pregnancy to-do list together, I realised I want to set that aside and focus on a few basic, or immediately important, things to research. We will research:
- What Mrs Wrincs can and can’t eat and drink.
- What Mrs Wrincs can and can’t do.
- Any other nutritional (including supplements and multivitamins) priorities and recommendations.
- Ways to mitigate morning sickness.
- Ways to handle pressure/anxiety.
- How to find/get a midwife.
- Major warning signs for the health of mum and baby.
- Good pregnancy books.
- Making an extensive pregnancy to-do list.
I Am Not An Expert
I’m not a professional in a field relating to pregnancy or parenting. I have no experience (this is our first child and pregnancy) and I’m not looking to guide anyone through their own journey. If someone reading anything I write learns something from my approach (or, more likely, mistakes), that’s a great bonus. I am writing a blog to organise my thoughts, to make it feel like a more organised project that I’ll keep on top of and to get feedback from people who know more than us.
We’ll stumble our way through and do our best. This blog serves as a way to stay organised and look back on this amazing time. We’ll be learning to tackle pregnancy step-by-step and hopefully, that approach works for us.
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